Mickey Gomez Shares her Stalking Experience

12for12K member mickey Gomez share how stalking has affected her personally in three chilling accounts.

It had been a long week. I returned to my on-campus apartment after work and stretched out on the bed for a nap. I woke up at sunset to long bars of golden light streaming through the blinds, and to the feeling that I wasn’t alone.

He was sitting on the edge of my bed, watching me sleep. He smiled when I woke up, like I’d be delighted that he’d been clever enough to trick a janitor into letting him into my apartment. To this day I think that the flood of outrage and betrayal I felt are what saved me from anything worse. If I’d shown fear, there’s no telling what might have happened.

Read more on Mickey’s site.

Using Social Media for Good

A personal stalking experience by KBK Communications, Katie Fassl.

I had an issue, a couple of years ago, while I was living by myself downtown: some guy called me, every night (at around 2a) and would only speak to me in Spanish (a language I don’t speak).  This went on for two weeks.

Then I told my dad, a Homicide Detective, about it.

He tried tracing the number, and it came up as a pre-paid cell phone, which apparently can’t be traced. Needless to say, my dad took care of the situation (he called the guy and threatened him with God knows what…)

Read more at KBKCommunications.com

My Personal Stalking Experience, Part 3

(If you need to catch up you can find Part 1 or Part 2here)

So here I sat in my new dream home like a prisoner waiting for the next contact the stalker would choose and hoping it would all just go away.  Just months before I was happy and had achieved many of my life’s goals, but now none of it mattered.  All that mattered was that my family and I were safe, but all indications were that we were far from safe.

My husband and I had taken a couple of days off and headed to Vegas to get away from everything and to renew our vows in another show of solidarity.  These little weekend trips we would take were the only way I could relax by that time.  In New Mexico I felt the need to be “on guard” all the time to protect myself.  But outside of New Mexico, I could sleep and feel like myself with no one except my father knowing where we were heading.  John needed to check in with his staff since he didn’t want to get caught on the phone during our trip with anyone but his manager and we were sure the stalker was not in the office I called prepared to ask for the manager and pass the phone to him.

The only problem was we were wrong.  The stalker answered.  My heart dropped, but I went on like I was unaware it was her and asked for the manager.  Then I got her response, “Is this John’s bitch of a wife?”

How do you even respond to that?  Amazingly I stayed calm. I responded, “This is Angela and the stalking has got to stop now.  The police are closing in. Just stop. It has gone on too long.”

The response still gives me chills.  “Of course the police are getting close because it is me.” The phone was on speaker as John drove us home.  Both of our jaws dropped and I replied, “I will let them know that” and hung up the phone.  Immediately I was in tears.  It was as if the entire reality of what was happening was unavoidable anymore.  I thought about Jodi and how her story ended.  I thought about how happy we were just a few months earlier as we closed on our new home and landscaped the backyard.

I called the police when we arrived home.  The officer arrived at my home to make a report and I met him with a 3-inch stack of printed out emails and notes from the stalker.  I should have reported it sooner.  However, like many stalking victims I just wanted it to stop.  My husband had requested the stalker be transferred, but the corporation that he worked for didn’t want to get involved which meant everyday she could gather more information and enjoy the chaos she was creating.

The officer took a report with the charges Aggravated Stalking (felony) due to the threats and excessive contacts.  Before filing an arrest warrant he decided to call her and demand she leave my family alone.  She cursed at him and he advised we seek a temporary order of protection.  It was granted that day for 30-days with a court date set to obtain a permanent order of protection.

My first target practice

The reality of the situation was closing in on me.  I needed to ensure my own safety.  I had never owned a gun and never shot a gun.  As a matter of fact, my husband had wanted to purchase a gun on several occasions and it was me who was always against the idea.  The gun stores would literally place an un-loaded gun in my hand and I would shake uncontrollably.  Everything in my life had changed though.  I was scared and felt like I had no other options.  By this time the emails/notes/contact had accelerated to 60 or more each day and the hate filled in each had amplified too.  I bought a gun and learned how to use it safely and accurately.  The purchase and knowledge gave me back a little piece of my life.  I felt more secure, but far from safe.

Within a week I opened my front door one morning to a note.  It was typed on plain white paper and simply said, “Tell the fucking police to stop before it’s too late bitch.”  We called the police.  The same officer responded and was not happy at all.  His words as he snatched the note and headed out the door, “I’ve had it with that little bitch. I am issuing a warrant.”

Tomorrow more on coming face to face with the stalker in court and our ultimate decision to relocate from the area.

Read Part 4 here.

Spin Sucks Shares a Stalking Experience

Gini Dietrich of Spin Sucks share her experience with stalking.

It was 2:40 a.m. and the phone rang.

“Hello?”

“I saw you today.”

“Excuse me?”

“You were wearing a black suit, a blue and white checked shirt, black pantyhose, and black and white heels with a peep toe.”

“Who is this?”

“I’ll be watching you.”

I sat up straight in bed. A man’s voice I didn’t recognize knew exactly what I wore to work that day.  He called to tell me about it and then hung up.

He had my home phone number.

He knew what I was wearing!

I called the police. “I’m sorry, ma’am,” she said, “There isn’t anything we can do about a phone call.”

Read her full story here.

My Personal Stalking Experience, Part 1

I have told bits and pieces of my story before on this site, but never all at once.  In honor of our launch fundraiser event here it goes.  Although fair warning that it is long and hard to relive so I expect this to be part one of several posts.

March 2009 marked a great time in my life.  Jodi’s killer was sentenced to the death penalty for his actions against her.  I loved my job, had just completed building my dream home and all around had no complaints.  However, my relief of justice being served was short lived.  By the end of the month, my life was turned upside down.

The last week of March I began receiving anonymous emails.  You might ask how an email can possibly be anonymous (which I did as well), but there are servers that exist off-shore to provide ways to send emails anonymously.  I assume the emails were directed through these servers after testing out many of them myself.  Of course, these sites all require you to click a box claiming you will not use the service for any malicious use, but clicking a box is easy right?

It started simply enough.  The emails stated that I had ruined this person’s life and went on to claim that I thought I was so much better than this person.  They were unsigned and left me wondering who this could possibly be.  As a stalking victim advocate it was not the first time I had received strange emails, but these seemed different to me from the start.  In the beginning it was one or two a week then it escalated to a note on my car.  All stated the same basic message and led to no clues as to who it was.  Until someone came forward and mentioned seeing the note left on my car while at work.

The witness provided a description of the person and the car. It allowed me to begin to narrow my focus on who could be doing this and why.  Notice at this point I had not reported the crime to police.  This is actually something I am very ashamed of, but is also testament to the fact that stalking is hard on victims.  At this point I was not telling anyone what was happening.  Not even my husband.  I wasn’t even admitting to myself yet that I was in fact becoming a victim of the same crime that I had spent the last two years advocating against and the same crime that had ended so badly for my friend, Jodi.

I thought I knew who could be doing this, but I still wasn’t 100% sure, because for the life of me I could not figure out why this person (an employee of my husband’s) would do this.  I had barely met her (yes her) a couple of times and just weeks before my husband had asked me to speak to her because she was having problems with a boyfriend that was affecting her work.  The boyfriend was coming into the workplace and causing scenes.  By this time, the emails had changed into wanting the material things I had…my house, my car, my job, etc. even my dogs and become more frequent as well. It was all very strange and I still don’t know why she became so obsessed with hating me.

Throughout April the emails continued.  I still told no one and still did not admit even to myself that I was a stalking victim.  I wasn’t sleeping well. I wasn’t taking care of myself in any way at all. I was still functioning in my day to day activities, but I was truly a shell of myself living life without really living.  I buried my head in the sand and hoped it would just stop.  It didn’t. It hasn’t.

In the next posts I will share the results of telling everyone in my life I was being stalked, my multiple police reports, restraining order, the notes telling me to “tell the fucking police to back off before it’s too late” and my ultimate relocation leaving behind my job and dream house to ensure my own safety.

In the meantime, join us on Twitter to #FightStalking by raising awareness and funds for Jodi’s Voice.  We plan to use the funds to increase awareness and provide a future shelter for stalking victims.

Read parts 2, 3 & 4 for the rest of the story.