My Personal Stalking Experience, Part 3

(If you need to catch up you can find Part 1 or Part 2here)

So here I sat in my new dream home like a prisoner waiting for the next contact the stalker would choose and hoping it would all just go away.  Just months before I was happy and had achieved many of my life’s goals, but now none of it mattered.  All that mattered was that my family and I were safe, but all indications were that we were far from safe.

My husband and I had taken a couple of days off and headed to Vegas to get away from everything and to renew our vows in another show of solidarity.  These little weekend trips we would take were the only way I could relax by that time.  In New Mexico I felt the need to be “on guard” all the time to protect myself.  But outside of New Mexico, I could sleep and feel like myself with no one except my father knowing where we were heading.  John needed to check in with his staff since he didn’t want to get caught on the phone during our trip with anyone but his manager and we were sure the stalker was not in the office I called prepared to ask for the manager and pass the phone to him.

The only problem was we were wrong.  The stalker answered.  My heart dropped, but I went on like I was unaware it was her and asked for the manager.  Then I got her response, “Is this John’s bitch of a wife?”

How do you even respond to that?  Amazingly I stayed calm. I responded, “This is Angela and the stalking has got to stop now.  The police are closing in. Just stop. It has gone on too long.”

The response still gives me chills.  “Of course the police are getting close because it is me.” The phone was on speaker as John drove us home.  Both of our jaws dropped and I replied, “I will let them know that” and hung up the phone.  Immediately I was in tears.  It was as if the entire reality of what was happening was unavoidable anymore.  I thought about Jodi and how her story ended.  I thought about how happy we were just a few months earlier as we closed on our new home and landscaped the backyard.

I called the police when we arrived home.  The officer arrived at my home to make a report and I met him with a 3-inch stack of printed out emails and notes from the stalker.  I should have reported it sooner.  However, like many stalking victims I just wanted it to stop.  My husband had requested the stalker be transferred, but the corporation that he worked for didn’t want to get involved which meant everyday she could gather more information and enjoy the chaos she was creating.

The officer took a report with the charges Aggravated Stalking (felony) due to the threats and excessive contacts.  Before filing an arrest warrant he decided to call her and demand she leave my family alone.  She cursed at him and he advised we seek a temporary order of protection.  It was granted that day for 30-days with a court date set to obtain a permanent order of protection.

My first target practice

The reality of the situation was closing in on me.  I needed to ensure my own safety.  I had never owned a gun and never shot a gun.  As a matter of fact, my husband had wanted to purchase a gun on several occasions and it was me who was always against the idea.  The gun stores would literally place an un-loaded gun in my hand and I would shake uncontrollably.  Everything in my life had changed though.  I was scared and felt like I had no other options.  By this time the emails/notes/contact had accelerated to 60 or more each day and the hate filled in each had amplified too.  I bought a gun and learned how to use it safely and accurately.  The purchase and knowledge gave me back a little piece of my life.  I felt more secure, but far from safe.

Within a week I opened my front door one morning to a note.  It was typed on plain white paper and simply said, “Tell the fucking police to stop before it’s too late bitch.”  We called the police.  The same officer responded and was not happy at all.  His words as he snatched the note and headed out the door, “I’ve had it with that little bitch. I am issuing a warrant.”

Tomorrow more on coming face to face with the stalker in court and our ultimate decision to relocate from the area.

Read Part 4 here.