I have told bits and pieces of my story before on this site, but never all at once. Yesterday I started my personal stalking experience here.
It wasn’t until in early May when an email mentioned my 13 year old daughter that I fully came to terms with what was happening to me. I was in fact being stalked and it was time to tell people in my life that could help me stay safe.
As many victims as I spoke to over the last few years it was still incredibly hard for me to say out loud. I remember sitting on the patio with my husband enjoying an amazing New Mexico sunset when I blurted out that I thought I needed to go by the police station tomorrow and file a report. My stunned husband drew his attention away from the sunset and tried to figure out what in the world I was talking about.
I went inside grabbed the note that had been left on my car and began explaining the conclusion I had come to over the last few weeks. He was hurt that I had not come to him sooner and angry that someone who worked for him, who he had tried to get help for was attacking his family. We discussed every option that evening. Had this person misunderstood his good-hearted nature of wanting to help everyone? Was it really him that she was obsessed with and I was in the way? After all, she was blaming me for everything wrong with her life. She wanted everything material in my life (including the dogs). This would be a very dangerous situation if that was the case.
Against my better judgment (which with the lack of sleep my judgment was heavily impaired) we decided to hold off on filing a report. John would give an overall warning at work to all employees (a stalker should never be confronted) that I was being stalked and he knew it was someone in the office doing it. His bluff that police were on the case already would hopefully work. We went on to show that the marriage was strong and no chance of a break up with my wedding ring being reset and a new band, vow renewals and more just in case it was an obsession with him.
I received an email that indicated the stalker had been on the other side of my fence (we backed up to an opened green belt) listening to a conversation my husband and I had in the hot tub the night before.
By this time I was going no place alone. My husband and I carpooled to work. At the time I did marketing for a retail mall. Upon arrival at the mall security escorted me everywhere and I mean everywhere I needed to go until my husband would pick me up after work. Threats had been made indicating that the case would turn violent. This was the worst part of the stalking case for me. I am an extremely independent person and that was taken away from me with the threats.
I was literally at my wits end. I felt like I had no privacy anymore from the stalker or even simply time to myself. The threats had been made and I never had any alone time. My husband and I decided to send our daughter to stay with my father in Kansas while we got the situation under control. The dream house we had built just a few months earlier now felt like a prison.
I will continue tomorrow with the police reports, the stalker admits it is her stalking me, feeling forced to protect myself with a gun after a lifelong fear and opposition to guns and our ultimate decision to relocate to another state.